Sunday, May 30, 2004
Saturday, May 29, 2004
A duck walks into a corner store and asked the cashier, "You got any gwapes?" The cashier looks at him and says, "No, we ain't got no gwapes". Then the duck left. The next day the duck came back and asked the cashier, "You got any gwapes?" The cashier looks at him and says, "No, we ain't got no gwapes". Then the duck left. The next day the same duck went back to the same corner store and said, "You got any gwapes?" The cashier said, "No, we ain't got no gwapes and if you ask again I'll staple your feet to the floor". The next day the duck came back and said, "You got any staples?" The cashier looked around and said, "No". Then the duck said, "You got any gwapes?"
- Jokes / Ancient Writings -
A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance: 1. A woman 2. A donkey 3. A shovel 4. A fish 5. A Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than 3,000 years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from all over the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what they could agree was the meaning of the markings. The president of their society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said, "This looks like a woman. We can judge that this race was family oriented and held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol resembles a donkey, so, they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil. The next drawing looks like a shovel of some sort, which means they even had tools to help them. Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish, which means that if they had a famine hit the earth, whereby the food didn't grow, they would take to the sea for food. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David, which means they were evidently Hebrews." The audience applauded enthusiastically, and the president smiled and said, "I'm glad to see that you are all in full agreement with our interpretations." Suddenly a little old man stood up in the back of the room and said, "I object to every word. The explanation of what the writings say is quite simple. First of all, everyone knows that Hebrews don't read from left to right, but from right to left. Now, look again. It now says: "Holy Mackerel, Dig The Ass On That Woman."
- Jokes / Wanna Buy A Toothbrush? -
There were three men trying to get the same job. There was Adam, Brandon, and Cameron. They had 3 days to sell as many toothbrushes they could. After the 1st Day, Adam had sold 20, Brandon 15, and Cameron sold 1. Brandon said, "I'd try harder tommorrow." to Carter. The next day, Adam had sold 45, Brandon 38, and Cameron 15. Then Adam told Cameron, "Tommorrow's last day, you better do really good." The last day, Adam sold 567, Brandon 472, and Cameron 1,594. Amazed, Adam asked, "How'd you sell that many toothbrushes?" Cameron replied, "Well, I put up a sign that said FREE PIE! Whenever someone would take a bite, they'd say, this tastes like shit. I'd reply, "Why, it is, want to by a toothbrush?"
- Jokes / The Canables -
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get 100 pieces of the same kind of fruit. With that, the three men went their separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten." The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed. The second one arrived and showed the king ten cherries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself, this should be easy. 1...2...3........96...97...98... and on the 99th berry he burst out in laughter and was killed. The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with durians."
- Jokes / The Goldfish -
Little Timmy was in the garden filling a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the child was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied Timmy tearfully, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Little Timmy patted down the last heap of earth and replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."
- Dictionary (the real definitions) -
Adult \a-dult\ n. : a person who has stopped growing at both ends and now does in the middle
Agony \ahg-on-ee\ n. : a one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls
Beauty Parlor \beu-tee par-ler\ n. : a place where women curl up and dye
Babysitting \bay-bee-sih-ting\ - an excuse to play little kid games
Boy \boi\ n. : a noise with dirt on it
Cannibal \can-a-bul\ n. : someone who is fed up with people
Caramel Apple \care-uh-mell ahhpul\ n. : cavities on a stick
Chicken \chik-on\ n. : the only animals people eat before they are born and after they are dead
Committee \com-ih-tee\ n. : a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours
Dust \dust\ n. : mud with the juice squeezed out
Etc: an abbreviation made to trick people into believing that you know more than you really do
Flashlight \flash-lite\ n. : a case for holding dead batteries
Frown \frowwn\ n. : an upside-down smile
Gossip \goss-ip\ n. : a person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage
Homework \home-werk\ n. : a punishment given to students every day to prevent them from having lives of their own
Lottery \lot-er-ee\ n. : a tax on people who are bad at math
Morning \mor-ning\ n. : a period of time nonexistent during weekends
Mosquito \muss-kee-toe\ n. : an insect that makes you appreciate flies more
Night \nite\ n. : daytime with the lights out
Oops : the sound made by a teenager who comes home two hours after curfew
Raisin \ray-son\ n. : a grape with a sunburn
School \skool\ n. : prison-like place with no free meals
Secret \see-cret\ n. : something that people aren't supposed to know but everyone eventually finds out
Skeleton \skel-eh-ton\ n. : a series of bones with the person scraped off of them
Tomorrow \too-mar-oh\ n. : one of the greatest labor saving devices of today
Yawn \yawwn\ n. : an honest opinion being openly expressed
Yesterday \yes-ter-day\ n. : when the ten-page paper that you started tonight was due
- How To / Bother People At The Mall -
only in Spanish.
particular saw cuts through the human bone.
shoes, and wander around the mall taking two-inch steps.
pausing to scratch yourself.
What Name Should You Have?
You're the angelic smiley.
People like you for your kind and friendly personality. You
live every day the best you can and don't take it for granted. You are someone
that can make someone's day a little better.
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
YOU RAN OVER A SMALL CHILD AND LEFT HIM TO DIE!!!
what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla
What Pattern Are You?
what kitchen utensil are YOU?
I am Rapunzel!
Find your fairy tale character at kelly.moranweb.com.
I'm completely down-to-earth!
Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com
So... what's on TV tonight?
If you were a room in a house, what room would you be?
|You are smart and you excel in everything you do. Life is a breeze for you. You are a very lucky person.|
Which Blogging Tool Are You?
Take the ICQuiz!
Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz
You seem to have a healthy balance in your life when it comes to the internet and life away from the computer. You know enough to do what you want online without looking like an idiot (most of the time). You even have your own Yahoo club or online journal! But you enjoy seeing your friends and going out to enjoy life away from your computer.
The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!
Friday, May 28, 2004
One sunny summer day at skool you see the most wierd creature you have ever seen. Their name is ?, and every move he makes just turns you on more and more. You nudge your best friend Hana and say, "Wow, that has to be the most irritating body I have ever seen." Suddenly, he looks in your direction and starts walking right towards you!!! He says, "I noticed you staring at me from over there. I just had to tell you, that I think you are so , and was wondering if you'd like to go to a place with me and having fun?" With a stupid smile on your face you say, "Ummm" and go with them. When you finally get to the place, he moves closer to you, and gives you the biggest kiss ever. The two of you are passionately kissing, when you feel a ?? hit you on the back of the head. You open your eyes to find out it's all a dream, but there is a note left next to your bed.
It reads: "? is the love you've been waiting your whole life for. He will ask you out in 9 days or less, but only if you send this e-mail to at least 10 people within the next few minutes. The more people you send it to, the sooner they will ask you out, and you both fall in love. Do not take this lightly, because if you simply ignore this, you will have bad luck in love for the next 9 years!"
Get Your Love Story Here!
This whole thing took place in the music room.. Which is in the old technical block.. When we were singing, I heard cymbals and drums.. Actually, my 2 friends heard it first, then they told me to listen properly.. Then I heard it.. The noises seemed to come in the store room where the band members put their instruments.. The storeroom is soo near where we were standing and Some people ACROSS the room even heard it, even though it's not THAT loud! Creepy!!
At first I thought it was the vibration of our voices.. But then the cymbals and drums played a different tune when we were singing!! The only same tune was when we sang 'Munaeru Valibaa'.
Then this Aisyah, a friend of mine, let go of her hair and acted like a ghost. It was real realistic!! I was facing the front when I heard my friend Farhanah said 'Eeesh!".. So I look back and I saw this scary creature.. I was SOO shocked, I jumped out of my chair and gave a little squeal, and then immediately after that I sat back down again... I just had a little shock, that's why.. =S
Then yesterday(27 May, Thursday), when we were practising again in the music room, the noises started again when we sang.. It was damn creepy!
The choir chairman asked his friend for the truth behind the truth.. Here is our conversation:
Him: it is a storeroom.. and he also say its haunted.. someone hang inside..
Him: he also said sometimes lights spoil here and there... there's a fan in the room.. and no one knows where it cums from..
Oooh.. Interesting rite?!
Then in the morning we took a quiz on Lord of the Rings. The first few winners will get a bookmark(can chose wan..)
I got 11/16... A lot of ppl got 11 so we had a tie-breaker.. I happened to win but there was only 1 bookmark left so there was no choice for me.. I got Arwen.. My form teacher say she think that I'm happy as I got Arwen.. =X
Today is the last day I'll see my science teacher again.. I'll miss her.. She is a very fun teacher! Although she's scary sometimes!
Then after the song 'Under The Sea', Ms Lye came in to conduct us for the next few songs but the soundman stopped the CD instead of pausing it... We were standing on the stage like fools!!! The audience clapped for a few times but we did nothing else but stand and smile!!! At last we did another piece named 'The Dixieland'.
When the combined pieces, Singapura and Munaeru Valibaa, I was standing near the drums and cymbals. It was very very VERY loud! Hahaha!! Lucky I stuffed tissue in my ear, and the sound was a bit muffled!
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Hope you all can read.. I think the font is a bit too small...
Grover on Ecstasy
You're funny, you're loveable, you're entertaining,
you like to call yourself "Super
Grover!"--You're obviously on ecstasy.
But that's why we love you. Be careful, ok?
Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Friday, May 21, 2004
Hmm.. Failed my 2.4km run and my History paper.. I can't wait to get my report book back! I think I'll fail my malay..
Sitting position back to the position before exam.. Bad luck! I get to sit beside the lame and P.......C guy!!! ARGH! But nvm.. he is 'FUN'! >.<
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
This is a fun game.. Click here...
Me and another fern of mine got scolded by a teacher because she saw us bringing handphone.. Haiz...
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Friday, May 14, 2004
Thursday, May 13, 2004
But I'm weak in Malay so that's no surprise..
Guess what? I got 13/20 for my Literature file. I thought it was low, but compared to my frenz, i got pretty high.. They got about 5,7,9 etc.. The highest mark in our class is 15, as far as I know...
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
The more we learn, the more we know,
The more we know, the more we forget,
The more we forget, the less we know.
--An old English saying
Good point.. Why study?
Amber won the million dollars.. Stupid flirt! I hate Amber.. Rob too... People there are so naive.. Blinded by Rob.. But Rob is a scheming player.. I'll have to give him credit for that...
Monday, May 10, 2004
Forgot to bring my key.. Kena locked outside.. Shouted for my grandmother but she deaf.. Didn't hear.. I called the house phone also she didn't hear... Finally I shouted my lungs out .. Finally she hear.. And I lost my voice..
Saturday, May 08, 2004
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Monday, May 03, 2004
forces Google to fix its site:
1) Go to www.google.com
2) Type in- weapons (DON'T hit return/enter!)
3) Hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button, NOT
the "Google search"
4) Read the "error message" carefully.
Someone at Google has a good sense of humor and
will probably be fired soon.