BLondE JokE

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.
*Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
*Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years".
*Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
*When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".
*Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
*After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.

NEW INVENTIONS BY BLONDES:
*The water-proof towel
*Glow in the dark sunglasses
*Solar powered flashlight
*Submarine screen door
*A book on how to read
*Inflatable dart board
*A dictionary index
*Powdered water
*Pedal powered wheel chair
*Water proof tea bags
*Zero proof alcohol
*Reusable ice cubes
*Skinless bananas
*Do it yourself roadmap

Lesbian
A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spots a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, "Don't waste your time on that one. She's a lesbian." The blonde goes over to her anyway and says, "So which part of Lesbia are you from?"

No offense to blondes!